A Foreign Coin

Economists are taught to assign value to everything. Even things that other people wouldn't generally assign a cost to. One way they do this is by using the concept of opportunity cost. For those of you that might not know, here it is in a nutshell. Opportunity cost is the value of the things you give up by making a choice. If you have one dollar to spend at the dollar menu, you can get a burger or some fries. You cannot get both. I'm going to apply this to something a bit more abstract. If you want to go out too dinner with your family and someone suggests a great Thai restaurant and someone else suggests Italian. You can't eat at both. If you eat at one you'll be full. If you compromise and only eat a bit at one restaurant then get a small plate at the other, you won't have gotten the full experience. There is always a cost.

This is how I pay to write my books. In coin of time, bills of leisure, hobbies, friendships, and freedom. Writing a book is an expensive investment, but if you are willing to pay then you might find that the return is a thousand fold in joy, satisfaction, influence, and possibly even real money.

But opportunity is a difficult coin to spend on purpose. You must always see what you want and what you cannot do because of it.

If I choose to write, I cannot successfully pursue a hobby at the same time. I cannot spend that time with my wife. I cannot strengthen my relationship with my children, friends, or siblings. Writing a book takes a lot of time. That's your time. Time that you could be doing other things. Time that you probably want to be doing other things. Time that your friends, family, or others might want you to be doing other things.

Is it worth it?

You can spend this coin on purpose. You can use your opportunities to bring you to many different goals. But if you don't make your choices on purpose, you may never get your book. Do you want a book? Do you want to be successful in your writing? The next time you have a choice of what to do with your time, consider what it's costing you. If you have good friends, then they'll understand. You've got to buy your book, and opportunity is the only coin that will buy it.

Spend your opportunities with intent.

Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing

As a student in the AFROTC I remember learning about leadership and group dynamics. Most of the lessons I learned have faded as I moved away from the military career route, but one model has stuck with me to this day. I think I still remember it because of how useful it has been in many facets of my life, and especially in writing.

First, I want to say something about intellectual models. Models help us understand something, but they aren't that thing. Models are simplified to the point that we can understand them. Simplification removes some truth. It doesn't make the model incorrect. It just means that we should understand that there is more there.

So this model is about teams and groups. It says that when a group comes together to accomplish a task, there are four main stages before they can really work together as a team.

• Forming - Forming is the group coming together. Your name has been drawn out of a hat, and now you go to meet your associates.
• Storming - After the group meets, there needs to be some sort of organization. If all members are equally ranked, then they'll naturally shuffle themselves around until a "leader" comes forward. Sometimes this is a power struggle, sometimes it's just a matter of who speaks first. Sometimes we try to skip this step and keep things calm. Having defined roles can help negate some of this struggle. But in the end it will happen, and if the team survives then it will be stronger. (With my personality type, I try to avoid this stage as much as possible even though I know the results are usually positive.) 
• Norming - This comes after the struggle. Everyone settle in to their place in the group. They may not be happy with it, but they know where they stand.
• Performing - Now the group works together and performs a job quicker and more effectively. They are a team.

You've seen this pattern before in nearly every sports movie, but it's also present in romantic comedies. In fact, if you graphed the progress linearly you might find something very similar to Freitag's pyramid. It's also how Piaget breaks down our encounter with new ideas(well, at a very basic level). Meet an idea, struggle with it, classify it, and then use it. But it's not a one time event. We are ever changing, ever meeting new ideas and people that we must struggle with.

Some of the strongest teams are formed from some of most adversarial people. Some of our best ideas are formed when our current ideas are challenged.

You can use this when creating relationships or teams. It even happens inside a single character. (Imagine a character who is lost in the forest and twists their ankle. They have to struggle until they figure out how to move forward in their new condition.) Which stage are they in when the story starts? Do they work together well throughout the whole story, or does something happen to throw off the balance so they have to storm a bit to find their norm again. Look at your own relationships or careers. Which stage are you in?