I have an opinion on very few subjects. I try to keep myself open for persuasion and manipulation whenever possible. But there are a few things that I do form my own personal convictions about. And you people of the invisible web that I write this blog for (because we are all really writing blogs because we think that someone will read them and we all secretly hold the desire to become well known because of the style and voice we create through our writing...it's the way for todays everyman/woman to get published only when we're all published, no one is (read "When everyone's special, no one is." from pixar's The Incredibles)) get to hear it.
When we do something wrong habitually we apologize for what we're doing. We apologize again and again. Well, to keep the apologizing to a minimum, only apologize for the things that you actually have no control over.
"I'm sorry that I can't go running with you this morning. My feet were amputated last night and I doubt I'd be able to keep up." That's a valid apology.
"I'm sorry that I can't go swimming with you today, my skin is made of a compound that turns into an acid when I touch water and I would die." Okay, I can respect your decision.
However, "I'm sorry that I was late today for the fiftieth time, I just can't seem to get myself motivated to be here on time." is not a valid apology. It is an attempt to excuse a changeable trait.
So, let's save the excuses for the unchangeable and change the things that we can.
(Editor's note (read "writer's note") the author of this document is fully aware of the hypocrisy evident in these writings and hopes that all of you enjoy it.)
3 comments:
I feel apologies are meant for the opposite. They should only be used for things that are in your control. If things are beyond your control then an apology is just an acknowledgment of your desire for things to be different. When you apologize for something that you have control over it is saying that you commit to never offend in that manner again.
So, I think we should say what we mean.
Instead of "Sorry I missed your party." We should say I'm really bummed about missing your party, but you see; when that meteor struck my car it left me without transportation.
Instead of, "Sorry I'm late (for the 50th time)." We should say: I don't respect you enough to come on time, and although I'd really like not to be fired, I'm not motivated enough to change.
That way we can leave the I'm sorry for where it belongs, in the repentance process. As in I'm sorry I offended you by my actions. I will attempt to make amends and alter my future behavior.
Wonderful response. I completely agree. I think that what I meant to say, instead of saying what I meant, was that sorry shouldn't be used as a place holder for actually changing.
But you are right. When something is completely out of our control then, "No excuse is necessary."
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