New kind of post-Novel Progress Tracker 1

I am working on a novel. This is probably not uncommon for a writer and aspiring author. You know what else is probably not uncommon? That sometimes writing is hard.

This is the first in a string of posts that I will be writing to journal my writing experience. My overall goal for this book (in length) is about 80,000 words. I've found that that's about the number of words it takes me to tell my stories. It feels right.

I'm using a website that I created with my brothers to track my progress toward that goal. It's called wordtrackr.com. It's in the beta stage, but it works for what I need here. Feel free to check it out if you want. There's no charge.

I'm currently at about 8,308 words. That's about 11% of my goal. My goal is about 1,200 words every workday or 6,000 words per week (That lets me make up time on the weekend if necessary). At this rate, I should be finished with the rough draft in mid-late December. That's my goal.

This week I wrote 410 words. The week before I wrote 1300. I've got a job substitute teaching at a local elementary school. I'm teaching 6th grade. It's fun, and I'm looking into getting an endorsement to teach Elementary School full time. (That means I'll be licensed to teach in my state.) What does this mean for my writing? I've been dedicating more and more time to teaching. I want to do my best at school, and since that's the job that pays money now I can justify spending two to three extra hours every day on it. I'm not making that kind of time for writing.

Also, my wife is pregnant. We chose this, but it's a hard pregnancy for her. She's not officially on "bed rest" orders from her doctor, but she has had to cut most activities out of her life (e.g. last night we walked across the street to our neighbors back yard. On the way back she was leaning on me just to make it home.) She's chosen to be a stay at home mom, so at least we're not losing income that we expected. I'm picking up responsibility for housework, yard work, shopping, cooking, and looking after the rest of our kids.

This Friday night I went on a Boy Scout campout with my oldest son. I got to see him interacting with the boys in his troop. I got to struggle to make a fire and make smores with him, hike around a campground and watch him shoot an arrow into a paper dragon, and then walk home with all our gear because my car had been towed away because I parked it overnight where I wasn't supposed to.

I have a great writing group. This wednesday I spent every hour after I got home (and after I had reviewed lesson plans, balanced my checkbook, and responded to important emails) reading and responding to their submissions.

All of these things are good. My wife is pregnant. I've got a job. I get to hang out with my kids. I have a strong writing group.

But I didn't write.

The one time I did write was when I woke up an hour early in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. That's where I got 410 words.

When it comes to writing, I didn't have much time to feel bad about how little I do. But on Saturday when I hiked home with my son, picked up my car from the towing lot, etc. I couldn't help but feel a bit discouraged. I recently had a chance to review my current life with some valuable input from others and someone pointed out that I don't value writing. I make time for work because I see the immediate benefits. But I don't make time for writing.

Lately when I sit down with a bit of free time I don't let myself write. I feel that something will come up to steal away my time. There's always something. I hear the inner self-help junkie saying, "Make goals. Prioritize. This is all your own fault." Intellectually I can point out where I am making poor choices. But emotionally I'm struggling. I only really thought about giving up writing altogether once this week. That's progress I guess.

But I still love the story I'm writing. Sometimes I love it so much that I'm afraid I'm going to screw it up. Sitting down and actually writing this week has been hard. But when I did, I felt great. Driving in my car I thought of scenes and snippets of dialogue. It almost felt real again.

ABOUT FUTURE POSTS

Each week I will post two things:

1. My numerical progress toward that goal.
2. How the writing process went for me.

My purpose for these posts is to be completely vulnerable. I want to be open with others about my writing process so that maybe other writers can see a bit of themselves. I'm self centered enough to believe both that I'm the perfect model and everyone will do things exactly like myself, and that I'm 100% unique and no one does things like me. There's just enough of me connected to reality to understand that neither one of these is completely true.

Improvement often happens when we see and recognize our failings, then consciously address them. Unfortunately, we rarely have true insight into our own weaknesses. But we often easily see the faults in others. (A mote in your eye vs. a beam in my own if you will.) If another writer can see a bit of themselves in me, or if they can just see my writing process clearly from the outside, then perhaps they will be able to spot the failures and do better. I'm setting myself up as a learning example. Not an example of failure, because I hope to succeed. Not a perfect example, because I know I'm not. But a real example. Hopefully by analyzing my writing process, hopes, dreams, fears, and habits, someone can see a better way. Who knows? Maybe even me.