Monday, November 09, 2015

Do I want the result?

Three anecdotes:

1. When I was younger, I told my mother (numerous times I'm sure) something like this: "I just don't like doing dishes." You can exchange "dishes" with any other chore and I probably said it.

2. Here's another situation. When I was training to be in the US Air Force (I never made it), I had to do push-ups. I got to the point where I could regularly pump out 60 or more in a minute. Every time I did so, I got to 25/30 push ups and it was hard. I always thought, "Huh. This isn't fun anymore."

3. One summer a while back I started a small business venture making chain mail. I made ties, bracelets, necklaces, and other stuff. About halfway through the summer I thought, "This is hard. I don't really want to do this anymore."

Now how are these stories related? In each situation I came up to something hard. In each instance I had a choice. I could push forward and do it despite the fact that I "didn't want to." Or I could quit.

So, what do you want to do? Here's an idea. Forget the concept, "I don't want to do it." Erase the question, "Do I want to do it?" from your mind. Replace it with, "Do I want the result?"

For cleaning, my mom said, "I don't like doing dishes either, but I do like having a clean kitchen." I now clean my dishes.

For push ups, I said, "I don't like feeling tired, but I do like being healthy." I kept doing push ups.

For the chain mail business I said, "I don't like spending this time away from my family making chain mail creations that I'll never see again. I don't like my time and effort being undervalued so that I have to lower my prices so far that I don't make enough money to make it worth my time. And I don't really want to be a business owner."

I quit the business.

The cool part about all of these situations is that I am ultimately in control of what I do with my time. I get to choose how to spend my time. I use the word "spend" here on purpose. We usually associate that word with money. Our money doesn't spend itself. We choose what to spend it on. We don't just give someone our money. We spend our money to get something in return. Even if we're giving to charity, we're giving up our money for a cause that we believe in.

Don't ask, "Do I want to do this?" Instead ask, "Do I want the result of this action?"

And then you get to spend your time to purchase whatever result you want. (Of course, just like with real money, the cost is commensurate with the purchase.)

So, how does this relate to writing?

When you start writing a story, you will probably come up to some point where the shine comes off. The great idea you had won't feel so great anymore. It will be too hard to find time to write. You'll sit down to write and it will just be hard to come up with anything good.

Ask the question, "Do I want the result of writing today?" "Do I want a book?" "Do I want to be a published author?" "Do I want to make a living at this?" "Do I want my story to live?" "Do I want other people to fall in love with my world and the characters I've imagined?" "Do I want to succeed at writing?"

If the answer is yes, then write. Make yourself do it. Make yourself push through the hard part.

If the answer is no, then good news. You don't have to.

You are the master of your life. There is always a choice.

Do you want to watch YouTube for an hour? Don't ask that. Ask, "If I sit down for an hour to watch You Tube, how will I feel? Do I want that feeling?"

And guess what. Sometimes the answer will be yes! You'll get to choose where you want to end up in life. You'll get to choose if you feel sick because you ate so much of your favorite food. You'll get to choose if you feel proud of the story you just sweat blood over. And if you really put in the time, you'll get to choose that other people will like what you've written, revised, and rewritten. Because you know what you want. And that's where you're going to spend your time.

(Author's Note: This is a motivational analogy meant only for good. If you have evil goals, don't listen to this advice. If you have evil goals, then just give up on them now.)

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