I just watched this video about things that might shock visitors to the United States of America. It's an interesting study of how different cultures interact. Any time you get a chance to see differences in culture, especially when it's how those cultures interact, it's a great opportunity to study world building.
One comment he made about 1/4 of the way through was about overall friendliness of Americans. (Yes, we call ourselves Americans even though there are many other countries in the Americas. The categorization of continents, landmasses, countries, and agreement on boundaries or names is another interesting subject for world building.) In the video, I got the sense that Americans are seen as "friendly" the same way a merchant looking to sell you something is friendly. That is, eager to seem like a friend so that they can further their own purpose. The perception is that Americans' friendliness is superficial while, according to this video, it's really genuine.
I'm going to suggest that it might be more complicated than that. Ignoring the fact that the United States of America is made up of a number of sub-cultures that view social interaction differently. (e.g. While I was living in Southern Alabama I found myself waving hello to a Tree once because out of the corner of my eye I thought it was a person and in the small town I was staying in it was a social slight not to wave to someone, while New York City is well know for having cold and abrupt people.) Americans generally are more open and friendly to strangers than other countries I've experienced. Americans are loud, wave hello, laugh loudly at jokes in public, introduce themselves to total strangers on the train, and smile broadly at members of the opposite sex without any intention of flirtation. They are, as the video says, willing to give directions, willing to help a stranger in need, and often very helpful.
In contrast, when I lived in Germany, I had the chance to ask for directions from strangers, questions about certain customs, and other interactions. I found the Germans no less caring for their fellow man than Americans. I often got the sense that Germans are standoffish or slow to make friends, but strong friends once that barrier was crossed.
These are all superficial generalizations that nonetheless hold some truth.
There was a difference in the accepted interactions at the social level. The way Americans treat total strangers is different from the way many others treat strangers in the world. But the superficial level is just that, on the surface. When it comes down to substantial relationships, my experience tells me that nearly all people are the same, and there is a distinct difference between a true friend and an acquaintance or a stranger. The difference I've seen between Americans and others is the acceptable behavior towards strangers and acquaintances.
Americans are very open in general. They take pride in the fact that they don't hide their emotions. But, just like every person, an American has levels of who they trust and who they don't. Americans guard themselves emotionally and psychologically from others a well. The difference here comes from the level of accepted friendly or intimate behaviors that Americans are willing to expose to complete strangers. And ultimately, I think much of the confusion comes from those behaviors. A traveler from the Czech Republic might meet an American who smiles broadly, shakes hands, jokes, invites them to sit, talk, asks probing questions like, "How are you doing?", and shows the behaviors of a friend. This visitor to American culture might assume that those actions indicate the start of a deep friendship. But the American is only acting on their own perception of what is polite and may even overcompensate because the Czech visitor is acting somewhat "standoffish".
The issue here is not whether or not Americans are capable of having deep and meaningful relationships. (That is more likely to vary from person to person) The issue is how we act toward people who haven't crossed the threshold from acquaintance to friend.
This is excellent material for world building. How do your societies interact? Is sniffing strangers OK? Is it acceptable to lick someone when you first meet them, or should you wait until you are properly introduced? Do you discreetly exchange your money when paying for something, or do you show it off to anyone who can see? Who can interact with who, and to what level? There are plenty of stories that show children, or those not familiar with a culture, who are allowed to break social mores. But once they "grow up" or reach a certain level of acceptance in that culture, they are expected to follow the rules.
What are your rules? Who is expected to follow them? Who enforces those rules? How do people in your culture react to foreigners, children, or those who don't know the rules? And (here's a very useful question that might be uncomfortable) what stereotypes arise about your culture when viewed from the outside? What cultures have friction because of their differing sociability?
Let your cultures be different. Let them have friction. Let them have misunderstandings. Let your characters have thoughts or beliefs about how to interact with others that you think are wrong. People do wrong things all the time. And people do right things too. That's what makes us all interesting. What makes your people interesting?
No comments:
Post a Comment