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So, I was a sucker the other day and despite my good judgement I clicked on one of those "fee ipod" or "Free PS3" or "Free waste of money" things. I'm pretty sure that it was one of those things. Now that I think, it may very well have been the last one. It might as well have been for all the good that came of it.

Now I'm not completely naive. I understood that "Free" actually means "Just sign up for a bunch of offers so that we can use the money we get from advertising and suckers who don't understand the system to send the few who actually get through all the paperwork and headache might actually get a free item which is not guaranteed to compensate for the free headaches that are guaranteed." I tell you what. That's a lot of subtext. Whoever wrote that "Free" should be a professional writer maybe making screenplays because saying so much with only one word is a marketable skill.

So, even though I went into the process knowing that I'd perhaps pay $150 in offers I was ok with that because that is still significantly less than I would pay otherwise.

INTERMISSION
I would like to take a break here to complain about wireless keyboards. Especially wireless keyboards with dead or dying batteries. I would stand to reason that I complain about dead or dying batteries, or using someone else's keyboard when they don't replace the batteries. And if I were truly proactive I might skip the complaining process and just replace the batteries myself....But I'm going to complain. I've never had a wired keyboard drop every third lettr or so that I typed so at it ook twice a long to tye my blog becase I had ogo back and correct all the words wdropped letters. But indubitably ths keyboard has, andis as I typedoing ust that. So, mr. highandmitywireless you don't rule the world yet!

Now back to our feature presentation.

Also, I thought that maybe I would actually get something that I wanted out of the deal signing up with these offers. So, I clicked on the link, and started the offers. And every step of the way I found out new restrictions, limitations, and rules that made for more headaches, and less free. In the end, I would have been paying $4-500 for an item by signing up for offers that I didn't want for sure. (Because I signed up for the ones I did want under an alternative email because I didn't want tons of junk mail coming from the "Free Stuff" site. But then I found out that they track by the e-mail and I couldn't change by that time.) But the whole time I worked feverishly under the direction of our happy friend the green eyed monster because I wanted to have for free something that I couldn't afford. And somewhere deep in my middle section (probably my spleen) I just knew that I was getting a great deal and I was cheating the system because I wasn't actually paying for it but it was legal. (actually, somewhere deep down I knew I was falling for a well contrived plan to rip me off at every turn and to make money off of people who don't know better. Did you know that one ounce of face cream costs $69.00 and you don't even have to worry about asking for more when that small amount is gone because they will conveniently ship you more next month. Don't like spending your money for something you don't want? Don't worry they'll conveniently charge your credit card for you so you don't have to lift a finger to waste your money. They'll do it for you. Don't have enough money? That's ok. we've got a great payment plan with the collections agency of our choice. We don't really expect you to pay anyway so we'll just write off the two or three ounces of cream we sent you because it only cost us $5.00 to manufacture it anyway....maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe I'm not. Actually I'm not exaggerating. I'm completely making up scenarios. It is however based on my knowledge of how companies generally work (from the company and customer side) and situations that friends and colleagues have found themselves in. I am leaning heavily on the side of the customer though because even though everyone does need to make a living, I think that there are less conniving and sneaky ways to make a living than leeching off the unaware. Its kind of like trying to get a PS3 for free. Greedy, and Just not right.

Luckily, I do read the terms an conditions. So even though I signed up for all this stuff, I knew what was going to happen. Unfortunately, they don't list all of the terms and conditions up front. That means new surprises at every turn. And now, even though I cancel all my trial offers and such, and I accept the fact that I'm not getting a PS3, I'm still out all the s & h charges. (It wouldn't be fair to make them pay for my lack of judgement)

So, I guess I learned my lesson. There's no such thing as a Free lunch. Only "Free" lunches. And we remember the subtext there don't we.

I'll just have to wait until I have enough money. That is after all the honest way to do it....or I'll forget my lesson and click on another ad next year. We'll see. But...Until then.