New Year - New Schedule - New...Me?

 Hey all (and by all I mean me),

I thought I'd give this blogging thing another try. I liked it the first time around, but now I think that I'd like to have a bit of a purpose. I have had some experiences in the past few years. Some of them were really crappy. I mean REALLY crappy.

I lost my wife to...maybe I'll share those details sometime. Maybe not. But she is now my ex-wife. That was hard. I attempted to take my own life. Luckily, I failed. Well, I say luck, but it had a lot to do with having so many good people around me and supporting me. I also give a shout out to God on this one. Whether it was just not my time, or he didn't want me yet, or he wanted to give me some more time to fix some of my mistakes, or what. I recognize his hand and his will in my current existence. I really hope that some of you who are reading this don't agree or don't believe in God. It would be nice to think my audience is that big. If you're out there reading this, and you lean in that direction, thanks for giving me the space to hold my beliefs even when you don't agree. I hope that my exploration of topics over the next few months will be useful or interesting to you as well.

Here are a few of the things I'll probably be discussing in no particular order:

• Life
• Death
• Suicide
• Vulnerability
• Self Help Books
• Validation
• Marriage
• Love
• Kids
• Self Improvement
• Religion (Usually Christianity and specifically my views as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints....I can even tell you what that name means and why we have it.)
• God

Here are some of my other interests that may pop up as well:

• Writing
• Poetry
• Board Game Design
• Education
• Languages and Language Learning
• Language Teaching
• Language building
• Telepathy
• Symbols
• Meaning Making
• Reading
• World Building

Here are some things that I say I'm interested in, but rarely actually get around to. They might find a post every once in a while also.

• RPGs and RPG Creation
• Hiking
• Soccer (playing, I watch even less than I play)
• Food (I'm not a foodie, but sometimes I have opinions)

This blog is not meant to teach, dictate, guide, direct, shame, or sell to you. It's an exploration. A journey. In the words of James Allen's foreword from the book As A Man Thinketh, "This little [blog] (The result of meditation and experience) is not intended as an exhaustive treatise on the much-written-upon subject of [well, anything]. It is suggestive rather than explanatory, it's object being to stimulate men and women to the discovery and perception of the truth..."

James Allen's book is about how we make ourselves in our thoughts. How "They themselves are makers of themselves..." referring to people in general. His book is probably good. I got it for Christmas and I've just started reading the foreword. (Thanks Josh)

Along with all these topics, I'll also be sharing some resources that I've found useful in my journey. Hopefully I can get together a page for that and maybe I'll create specific posts or overviews/reviews of books, resources, or ideas that I list. I'll have people I know share some of their thoughts, and maybe get some more content. I want to curate goodness if I can. If you have thoughts or topics you'd like to share, or if you'd like me to talk about something specific, feel free to mention it in the comments. I'll create a way to contact me eventually, but I don't want a millionty two spam messages coming to my inbox so I'm not ready to to that. Besides, the readership of this blog is so far one, and I think I know how to reach me...or at least I'm learning.

I'll also attempt to come back to this post and create some links to some of the subject matter above.

I'm not deleting any of my prior posts because we all have a journey and I think there's value in letting us be where we were when we were there.

Life is hard. And life is good. I love you all so much, even though I don't know you. I hope that in some way I can be a part of your life's journey, and I hope that that way is positive for you. Your life is your own. I don't really have anything to say about it. But I hope that in our journey, struggle, battle that we all face here, we can reach out and strengthen one another. Pulling back one strand of darkness at a time. Finding a way to point ourselves toward light and love and happiness. Not alone, but together.

I love you.

Come as you are, but don't expect to stay as you are. (Jeffrey R. Holland)

Let yourself be okay with your day.

Always do your best, and remember that your best isn't always your best. (The 4 Agreements...Thanks Dave)

(Sorry, just brainstorming some sign off lines.)

Derrick