Blog Flush

Eating shoes and taking names. Junking the Big dog, or Raining on my pinata. Words. Words that fit, and words that fail. Pouring from my pen.

Ink spilling rolling out from the ball point (ball point of my soul I could say) Metal scratching, scribbling, scrawling break me and bear me forth.

I want to tell you a story. Now I realize the weakness inherent in this first line. My wanting something, as a writer, means nothing. Waiting to tell a story means less. If I really wanted to tell the story it would begin and you would know my desire not by my telling, but by your captivation.

There is a picture in my mind's eye. A picture sitting in a constant fluctuating stasis. I spread the paint and the canvas mirrors nothing of my intent. I may sketch or draw a perfect moment, or capture a picture on film. But though I make a masterpiece the piece of my mind still stands alone, untouched, and unreplicated.

The power of words to transfer my mind to yours. A symbol communicated loses power, loses validity, loses life.

For whom then do I write?

Backpack Adventure

Well, I finally got the Internet at my house. It's been a long time coming. I thought that I could last without it, but this summer I'm taking a course online. This also means that I can write my blog on an irregular basis. Wait, I have been writing on an irregular basis. Well, i guess nothing's changed. And so...

Well, on to bigger and better things.

I guess I could tell you about self depreciating jokes. They're just not as funny as they once were. I write about how few people read my blog, or how fat I am, or whatever, and soon I start sounding depressed and I bring other people down, and nobody wants to be around a chatty Nancy, oh wait, I mean a nosy....wait again...fine, I don't know what to call a party pooper without a party. But I do know that self depreciating jokes just detract from any situation. From now on I'll only tell self aggrandizing jokes. Like when I laugh about how I have a body like Kevin Sorbo (huh, who was that guy? Wasn't he on Hercules, wait, he was Hercules.)

So, instead of just acting like the normal old me, I will put on a facade and change that facade whenever the fancy strikes. Crap, that sounds like a self depreciating joke just waiting to happen. Well, I guess one for the old days wouldn't hurt.

So, I guess I could tell you about self depreciating jokes. But it's really a boring lecture, so I'll spare you.

Later.

One little, two little....

A recent phenomenon has come to my attention. This world wide web is really world wide. I mean, I've always heard that, but I just figured it was a big hoax.

"Hey have you got the Internet on your computer?"
"Yeah, I picked up one of those AOL cds at wal-mart."
"The whole Internet fits on one cd? Yeah right."
"No, it's true. I put the cd in, and now I've got the whole program. I can even play World of Warcraft. Man artificial intelligence sure has gotten good."

But I guess it's true. The whole Internet couldn't fit on one cd. As odd as it may sound, there actually are many computers around the whole world that hook together in a big electronic database that we call 'the Internet'. That's the only way I can account for the now three replies I have on my blog from people that I don't know. I mean, first there was Kickenchica and I was amazed, but now Victor M and Biby Cletus have joined the vast throng of followers that heretofore I have only imagined. I guess I ought to start thinking about what I write. If anyone could just jump on 'the internet' and read my blog then life could get interesting.

So, from here on out I write only legit, intelligent, coherent posts. Well, maybe not coherent... maybe I'll strike the intelligent too...Aw forget it. I'll just keep writing what I usually do. What's this blog for anyway if not for me to communicate my inane ramblings to my imagined masses of followers? For all you who are listening (or I guess reading) Thank you for letting me pour my mind out onto the screen. It makes me tolerate life a little better.

Really Bad at titles

Let the resounding of my sigh be heard across the world. School has ended. (And I got a 3.8 for the semester. Woohoo!)

At least for the summer. I'm finished with 19 hour days filled with wonderful rehearsals, terrible final projects, and stress inducing finals. At least 'til next fall. As I look at the joy, sense of accomplishment, and release of stress that finishing school brings I can't help but laugh. I am tickled pink (oh but that's a strange colloquialism) when I think about finishing school. It will never happen. In fact, my son has taken to quoting the old "Stay in school!" campaign. He has given it a unique twist though and says, "Stay in School. Don't Graduate!" If only he knew how sadly true that is. I've been in school as long as my older brother. That wouldn't be so bad, except that he's a doctor, and I'm studying to teach high school.

Fortunately though, I will graduate. If everything goes right, I will graduate next spring. But then I will teach in High school. And I will look forward to summers for a break again. So, I will stay in school.

Summers bring a strange mix of emotions though. I feel elated that I have time to write. Then I feel frustrated because I don't. To be fair, I've only been out of school for a week, but still it's there. One of the most difficult things to get accustomed to is my family. For months at a time they rarely see me, and when I'm home I spend time with them. So now that I'm home all the time it's family time all the time. That's not so bad, but in the last week the only 'Me' time I've had was when I stayed up much later than I should have and then I was groggy and sleepy for the next day. I just don't know how to tell my kids, "Daddy can't play right now, I need a minute for myself." And they just think that when I'm home it's playtime. Those darned little devils. They don't know that when we play I get tired. They don't, so why should daddy?

And to top it off, I'm nervously twitching because I'm sure that I have an assignment sitting somewhere and I've forgotten to do it. I just don't know what to do with free time. Luckily by about the end of August I will understand how to live, write, play with my kids, play with my wife, and enjoy some time to myself. I will be in balance, and I'll know how to do it. Then school will start again.

So, as soon as I get the balance I'll take some time for me to write, or work, or breathe. And then I'll be back on here regular. (Sorry, but during school I had to drop something. I thought long and hard about dropping homework, but in the end I decided the blog was the leas important.) Until then...