One time at a day

Eating turkey dinner at my grandmother-in-law's gave me insight into the greater meaning of the universe. Unfortunately the nap that I took right after eating said turkey removed all of that insight. But things could be worse. All in all I think I came out on top because I lost none of my original insight, just the insight I could have gained had I not napped. However, I would have eventually slept and I believe my insight would have vanished just as surely over the night. The only consolation would have been one amazing post in which I shared my insight with the world. Maybe I would have even read my own post later and following the unavoidable insight from that I would have written an insightful yet entertaining novel about some young shepherd who dreamed about a treasure and went on a journey to find it only to return to his home a better person for the journey but treasure-less. But then he would dig a hole under the tree which watched over his original dream and find...da da daaa...the treasure of his dream.

After writing this novel, I would of course realize that Paulo Coelho has already written it (you can find that info here). And I would make my new years resolution not to write a novel that someone else has already written.

In fact, I think that should be my new years resolution.

You heard it here first. I hereby resolve not to write a novel that someone else has already written...or something like that.

This time I mean it

Well, another successful Christmas has come and gone. Thanks to my extended family my children again know what plenty means. Now I feel confident that they would have been satisfied by a small Christmas with just me, my wife, and themselves, but I also understand that getting lots of presents is important to children. I still like it. But it may be difficult to keep up this level of gift giving when my kids aren't the only grand children on my wife's side.

In other news, there is other news.

My sister in law wrote a lovely poem about her son and how he always keeps his shoes on the wrong feet. She really is talented, and what amazes me more is how fluid the poems seem. It seems as if she thinks in poetry. I guess the best thing I have to compare it to is a musician. Once a harmonica player learns all of the notes and chords so that they become second nature then they are free to express themselves through music. Many people only get to the point where they can express themselves, or play music. A real musician, in my opinion, gains the tools to create and then uses them. In the same way that a musician can express themselves through music once they have the tools, my sister in law has grasped the tools of poetry so well that she can express her every thought through poetry. She is poet. And that's that.

Rats, bats, and other reverse alliterations

I was doing something that one usually does around the Christmas season and I received the response, "You're a good person." In jest I responded, "I know."

Now, I'm not generally one who toots my own horn, but I will this time. By golly I am a good person and I know it. And why shouldn't I let other people know it too. Here is a bit of my reasoning.

Knowing what you are allows you to pursue the correct actions. If one doesn't know that one is a good person, then one will continually hinder oneself from becoming the best good person one can. Why put up a false screen of modesty (i.e. "oh, no. I'm not a good person. I'm just a person doing what I can.") when one could embrace one's goodness and just go for it. (i.e. "thanks for the compliment. I'm sure trying to be a good person. I'm glad to know it's working.") If one (okay, I'm done referring to a vague one. It really isn't a normal or accepted method of speech in our current language or social climate so I'll just use the more commonly accepted you.) If you continue to say, "Oh, no. I'm not a good person." then you can fall back on it when you make a mistake. But what we fail to take into account is the second part of the label: person.

If you are a person (and if you are not a person I hereby ban you from reading my blog), then you will make mistakes. More likely, you will screw up so terribly that something important to you or someone you care about will end in a poor way. This doesn't make you a bad person, but it does help prove you are a person.

Why not take the plunge and say, "I am a good person." Then you can start doing good things without any remorse (i.e. "I'm not a good person, but I'm doing something nice and good. But it's not too good. I don't want you to mistake me for one of those people. Please don't let anyone else know. Elaine Thomas (I don't really know any Elaine Thomas, so if she reads this then I'm sorry but it's a coincidence) down the street has been trying to pin that on me for months and she's looking for all the evidence she can. I'm sorry, I hope it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable. I'll try to tone it down a bit."). Who knows, maybe if we all accepted the fact that we can be good people we'd start doing it.

But I also don't mean this as an "everybody is good" thing. I mean it more as an "everybody can be good if they want to be" thing. Own up to it. And this holiday season start to accept the responsibilities of being good.

So, if you ever meet me and say, "You are a good person." Well, honestly I will probably respond with a common response like, "Oh, gosh. You're just saying that. I'm not really. I'm just a regular old guy." But on the inside I will be saying, "I know. Isn't it great. Let's be good persons together!"

Merry Christmas Eve

No time for eating peas

I would just like to review some key points about a literary character from the Charles Dickens novel A Christmas Carol. 1. In the beginning of the book, Mr. Scrooge had become near heartless and charity or love for other people had fallen beyond his ability to grasp or comprehend. In essence, he had cut himself off from the joys of emotion. 2. He was rich, a miser, and didn't want to spend his money on anything that wasn't necessary. 3. Mr. Scrooge also felt no connection to the people around him, and their suffering meant nothing to him. This is partially because of number 1, and partially because he was so invested in himself that he didn't take the time to consider or even find out about others around him. With these point in mind, I would like to submit the following idea: If you decide not to charge your credit cards to the max this year and you don't buy expensive Christmas presents that does not make you Ebineezer Scrooge. Saving money was only one aspect of Mr. Scrooge, and I think that though he eventually became free with his money, it was his money. It was not the bank's, and I doubt he went into debt to spread his joy. The story was more of a push for those who have to share with those who don't have. Not a push to become financially irresponsible. There's my "Bah humbug" for the year.

New internationalism

I was thinking the other day about education. It's a big subject with me. And today in the grocery line I saw the cover of Time magazine. It said something about....

Hold on. In a break from tradition, I just heard about this website. I mean that I actually just heard about it. As I was typing, a friend started talking and I thought, what a good idea. Sure, we as americans generally frown upon having people that we don't know come into our homes, but there is an appeal to it. If you are worried about the 'wrong' kind of people coming to your home, or going to a house that might be dangerous, there are plenty of situations and news clips (and horror movies) to support your fear. We like our stuff, and we are very attached to it. I like my bed. I like my couch. I only want people that I know and trust to come near them. However, there is a great draw in traveling. At least for me. And traveling all over the world, meeting new people, and sleeping on their couches seems like a dream. Not that I would have to sleep on their couches, but if that's part of it then fine.

On the other hand, it may be difficult to do something like this with a family. Unless it is summer time and I can manage to pack one small pack for each person. Who knows.

....So, as I was saying. Time magazine had something about fixing education in America (by which I assume they meant the United States of America because there are two Americas but there hasn't been as much popular discussion about the international education situation in North and South America). And I was going to say something about how we just need to work harder and teachers need to hold kids to higher standards, and how we need to expect more from ourselves, but I think that I'm done for now. School is hard work, and it should be. I think we get more out of it that way.

I'm Back!

Well, this last small bit of time has been, well, tedious. I have to say that school is difficult and time consuming. However, it should be well worth the effort...as soon as I find a job. Wait a minute. Finding a job would give the false impression that I am actively looking for a job. I am not actively looking. It seems that I am involved in more of a passive process currently. Now, I am all for the earning of money (and even, it seems, for the using of passive voice). I'm even for spending money. Shoot, I would like to believe that some day I will be doing both. But I have made a discovery. Well, not so much of a discovery as a collapsing acquiescence to my conscience and all the other pieces and forces that make up the part of me that is writer.

It's true, I took my sabbatical. I sat around the counting house of sanity. And when I had taken account (or "a count") of all of my good reasons, my thoughts, and my practicality I came to the conclusion that I didn't need them. Oh, yes, I languished in the false hope of being practical. It was painful, as it always is, and I decided (against my good judgement who is incidentally locked up somewhere in my closet underneath my trombone from high school and my family kilt both of which I am more likely to take up again) to take a little chance on myself.

I recently came into some money. And by "came into" I mean cashed in some savings bonds. And by "money" I mean money (Huh, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar after all. Thanks Freud.). Since I am currently unemployed, and since most school districts are not likely to hire a Drama/German teacher in the middle of the school year. Now, I must point out here that most school districts are not likely to hire a Drama/German teacher at the beginning of a school year either, but the odds are better there. Back to what I was or wasn't really talking about. I came into some money. And I don't think I have to tell you what I mean by that again, do I?

So, I'm paying myself by the hour to write. This money, which was mine in the first place, is now to become my paychecks which will turn into rent, food, candy, and toys; perhaps not in that order. And here is my reasoning:

Out there in the world, there are a number of employers ready and willing to depart with a small portion of their money to pay me (at minimum wage) to do something that I hate. Now, I don't hate doing things that I hate, and I think that we should all do something that we don't want to every few days or so (I believe that sentiment comes somewhere from the direction of Samuel Clemens...or maybe Mark Twain), but I've been doing that for money for the greater part of the last decade. I thought that this time I would turn the tables and do something that I love for money and I'll do things that I hate for free. The only difference here is that the money that I'm paying myself is already my own money. I guess that makes me the business owner, manager, boss, and grunt all in one. But the crux of my argument lies in the fact that money continues to motivate people to work even when they would rather do something else. Since I have the time to dedicate, and I have a meager capital investment (albeit from myself) I will pay myself to write. And if I don't write, then I don't have a place to live. In an of itself, that's not such a bad thing. But I would never forgive myself for kicking my wife and children out onto the street. Talk about motivation. Go on...find someone. Talk about motivation. The subject of motivation provides ample substance for conversation. I'll wait....

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You didn't, did you? Well, either way, I think that I have found some. And now that I'm done with school (yes, all 8 year for a bachelor's degree). I can spend some of my time writing. Oh, don't kid yourselves. I'm paying myself for writing. I'm paying myself for all writing. I need practice, so I'm paying myself for writing recipes if I have to, but I will write. That means that I am paying myself for writing this blog. That's right. I am getting paid to blog. So I'm back. I can finally justify spending time to do what I love, so I'm doing it. This is the first ever blog of mine that has earned me cold hard cash (Well, in the sense that I could have the cash in my hand if I wanted even though I really keep it all in bank accounts and spend most of it by card, check, or Internet transfer. But It could be cash. If I wanted it to be.).

Maybe that's why this blog is so long...did I mention that I'm paying myself by the hour?

4 wierd things about Derrick

#1 - I like to write poetry, but I hardly ever like to read it.
#2 - I own 5 pairs of jeans, and they all have holes in them. Only one pair has a hole in the pocket, so that I can at least wear it in public.
#3 - My nose hair sticks out, and sometimes it gets tickled so I sneeze.
#4 - I like to write more than almost anything in the world, but getting me to start a writing project is like pulling teeth.

I tag Kendra...maybe. I'll probably just kiss her instead.

I know, I know.

Pride comes before the fall...or at least that's what the common adage would have you believe. And incidentally, I believe it.

I just discovered something about our culture (let's call it western) and pervading philosophies versus the eastern culture and philosophies. Western philosophies don't like simplicity. If I were to say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." I would be right and wrong. In our western paradigm that sentence doesn't work.

An apple a day? What is the doctor a vegetable vampire and can't stand fruits? Is the apple the cure all fruit? Western philosophy as sprung from our greek tradition demands answers to these questions. We can't accept the simple adage that eating healthy fruits (an apple for example) is a healthy activity and in general if you eat healthy then your overall health will increase and if you are more healthy then you will be less likely to require the aid of a doctor.

But my wife doesn't like apples and she goes the Doctor much, much more than I do...Maybe there is something to this apple thing. Ah, I digress.

In Eastern philosophy analogies, parables, and anecdotes (okay, maybe not anecdotes) are often used to explain complex ideas. And that's okay. An apple a day? Great, fill me up.

It is interesting to note this difference because it also seems to extend to western vs. eastern medicines.

On the one hand, western medicine has moved past the old wives tales to a more detailed understanding. Is this good? It may be. However, it may be beneficial for the average joe to follow the old wives tale if it is founded on scientifically valid principle; even if he doesn't know why it works.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for the education of the masses. There's nothing but darkness and the bubonic plague if we go the other way. And I sure think that eating healthy is...well, healthy. But I also think that overcomplication can be just as bad as over simplification.

If I am teaching a child how to do addition, and I start out by saying, "Multiplication is just addition on a different level." I have defeated myself. Everyone doesn't need to be an expert on every subject in order for the world to operate. I don't know how to program a web page (well, I do, but that's beside the point) but I still have this here blog up.

So, is it good to try to learn everything? Yes. Is it necessary to force advanced knowledge on everyone? No.

Let's just everyone progress. And when you want to know how the atom is really made up, then we'll go ask someone who knows. But if eating an apple a day really is healthy then for goodness sakes, don't tell them to stop eating apples.

Just wait, and when they're ready then tell them why eating apples is healthy and maybe let them know they can eat other fruits as well.

This world of ours

Sometimes I think (and the suggested "sometimes I don't think must be also true") that my lifetime endeavors are fruitless. I write, but sometimes I don't get that big pat on the back that we all look for: recognition. Let's face it, if you write you are writing for someone else to read. Writing is communication, and communication is always (no exceptions at all) an effort to communicate a thought or idea to someone else. Even darned artistic poets like Emily Dickenson who holed themselves up inside their homes wrote for someone. And that's the whole truth of it. We want our thoughts and feelings and ideas to garner some form of recognition. We want our spouse, kid, brother, grandpa, neighbor, or proverbial neighbor to read our writing and say, "Ahh", "that's right", "Ha ha ha", or even "This makes me so mad I want to rip it up." To each writer there is a sought after response. Even if they don't know it.

Now, in our society the most acceptable form of recognition is money. We write and so someone gives us money. It seems like a suitable relationship. However we'll often settle for less.

But in this day and age we have computers so that anyone, like me, can write and be published to the world. It is wonderful. But because we have such unlimited expression, we get the dregs of the human animal along with the pinnacle of expression. That's just what we get for our liberal allowances. The same is true for every other form of expression: advertising, painting, performance art, politics. We've always had the lowest forms of expression in the world, now they just feel like they have a right to foist their opinions on us. But here's the kicker...we don't have to read it, watch it, listen to it, or smell it. That's right, we can ignore it. And until their existance becomes dangerous to my eternal salvation that's what I'll do.

I like to think that I may be in the upper 50% of that little group. But I'm probably not, so you may ignore me too (I won't tell if you don't). But I will continue to enjoy this little glimpse into the anima/animus of our culture.

And now I will type something in German.

Ich habe gedacht daß ich werde ein Autor sein. Aber es ist eine Schwierigkeit daß ich sie für ein Wunsch haben. Weil ich habe keine Bücher geschreiben. Ach, so ist es. Ich tue es eines Tages.

There's a bug in my pocket

I have an opinion on very few subjects. I try to keep myself open for persuasion and manipulation whenever possible. But there are a few things that I do form my own personal convictions about. And you people of the invisible web that I write this blog for (because we are all really writing blogs because we think that someone will read them and we all secretly hold the desire to become well known because of the style and voice we create through our writing...it's the way for todays everyman/woman to get published only when we're all published, no one is (read "When everyone's special, no one is." from pixar's The Incredibles)) get to hear it.

When we do something wrong habitually we apologize for what we're doing. We apologize again and again. Well, to keep the apologizing to a minimum, only apologize for the things that you actually have no control over.

"I'm sorry that I can't go running with you this morning. My feet were amputated last night and I doubt I'd be able to keep up." That's a valid apology.

"I'm sorry that I can't go swimming with you today, my skin is made of a compound that turns into an acid when I touch water and I would die." Okay, I can respect your decision.

However, "I'm sorry that I was late today for the fiftieth time, I just can't seem to get myself motivated to be here on time." is not a valid apology. It is an attempt to excuse a changeable trait.

So, let's save the excuses for the unchangeable and change the things that we can.

(Editor's note (read "writer's note") the author of this document is fully aware of the hypocrisy evident in these writings and hopes that all of you enjoy it.)

Basic Training

I think that we've missed the point. Or at least a lot of us have missed the point. Or at the very least, some of missed the point. Or just me, but I feel much more comfortable discussing my shortcomings if I lump some other people in with me, and since we have what, say six billion people on this planet, I'm fairly positive that there is at least one small group of people that fit into the category that I'm describing. So, even though I am lumping myself in with a completely different category of people who don't want to take the blame, I am also lumping myself in with another imaginary albeit plausible group of people who have missed the point. And now you may ask the question, "What is the point?"

The point is this. Training somebody to do something is hard, or it is work, and it is even (very possibly) hard work. This is as true of training children as it is of training adults. People talk about how hard it is for a new military recruit to go through basic training, but they never talk about how hard it is to train. Let me divert myself by using an example that may or may not relate to this previous example but probably relates well to the topic at hand.

Children.

When you potty train a kid it's not easy. For the first part of the program you are constantly reminding the child that they need to go to the bathroom in a furious attempt to get them onto the toilet when they actually do need to use it. (I just found out that the word utilize is only appropriate when you are using something for a purpose other than what it was intended for, for all other cases use the word use.) And when they finally do sit on the pot and a tinkling sound comes from the depths below their bottom we have to pretend to be ultimately more excited than we actually are. High fives and streamers mix with "huzzahs!" and "Big Girl/Boy!" that we don't really mean. We are excited, but we generally don't ever show that amount of enthusiasm for any accomplishment except maybe when a large boulder falls from the sky and crushes our car and we barely manage to pull everyone to safety when lightning strikes the tree next to us and lightning creatures emerge and we all work together on a plan to defeat the lightning creatures and save the world. And even then we are just as likely to cry as to laugh and cheer (unless of course we are in a sit com, then we all have a good laugh to lighten the mood and cut to the credits or commercial (more likely the commercial because the network wants us to be in a good mood to buy whatever it is they're advertising so that the advertiser will continue to buy more time on their network until we all stop watching television and only buy the season dvds for television shows that we actually want to watch and producers start advertising madly a-la "The Truman Show") but we're not in a sitcom). And it is far less likely to encourage our children to go potty in the toilet again if we burst into tears, even tears of joy, every time they make pee pee in the potty. And we do this for weeks, and months even only to have them relapse and pee on themselves all over again two months after we think they're finished.

However, we put ourselves through this ordeal because we don't want to keep changing diapers until they turn eighteen and they're old enough to change their own diapers.

And that's why we train. But it's not easy on either party. The military trainer has to put up a front of being the meanest SOB ever to walk this earth until the new recruits finally measure up and then trainer can shake their hands one time before going off to face a new group of noobs who don't have any idea how to do things the right way. Over and over again we put ourselves through training because we see the end goal as desirable.

But we have to choose what habits we want to cultivate. I have a friend who washes their son's hands with a cloth after every meal. When that son comes over to our house he has no idea how to wash his own hands, but he wants them clean. The parents just decided that it wasn't yet worth the effort to have their son wash his own hands (which makes sense because most kids end up not washing their hands so you have wet mess and dirty fingerprints all over for a week which brings up the point of proper training). But this kid eats his dinner. No matter what mom and dad put in front of him, he eats all of it. My kids wash their own hands, but if you put something green in front of them they act as if a boulder had just crushed their car and etc.

So, training is hard. Pick the right things to train your children in (like reading, respecting other people, telling the truth, etc.) and figure out how to train them correctly and all of our problems are solved.

Really.

All of them.

Every single one.

Even problems with rhyme schemes and internal plot structure and coherence in poetry and movies respectively.

No more problems.

You're welcome.

This was just fun.

The sorting hat says that I belong in Ravenclaw!

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Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose intelligence is surest."

Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable.
Notable residents include Cho Chang and Padma Patil (objects of Harry and Ron's affections), and Luna Lovegood (daughter of The Quibbler magazine's editor).

Take the most scientific Harry Potter
Quiz ever created.

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